How to Start Communicating Your Why

Everyone in sports has a why. My turning point was a flourless chocolate cake.

Ask Yourself the Right Questions:

Before you can communicate your why, take time to reflect on the questions that matter most:

• Why do I want to contribute to sports?

• How do I want to make an impact?

• Where and when do I want to do it?

Because here’s the truth — someone will eventually ask you why, and how you answer that question could change everything. Your players, administrators, colleagues, and even the media may want to understand what drives you. For example: Why do you play basketball? Why do you coach hockey? And in my case — why men’s football?

The Hard Part — Getting Honest:

Writing this blog has been one of the hardest things I’ve done. Even now, as I type these words, part of me wants to put it off — to avoid being so public about my struggles with my mental health and family dynamics. I am not ready to share everything, but I am ready to start talking about. Albeit I still do not know how yet.

At the end of the day, my story is part of who I am. If I’m going to be the kind of coach, mentor, and leader my players and peers deserve, that means being transparent. Vulnerability isn’t weakness — it’s honest leadership. This part is hard, but I have heard many high-profile sports leaders do so in many settings. Their story opened doors for them because it humanized them and connected them to others.

Share Your Story — That’s Your Why:

The best thing you can do is share your story. Talk about your journey, your values, and who you are. When people ask me “why,” I choose to be vulnerable and honest. Football was the first place I ever felt like I belonged. I coach football because I want to create opportunities for others to find family, purpose, and belonging — especially those who’ve felt unseen or neglected.

I grew up in a chaotic household. I didn’t feel like I belonged anywhere. All I knew was anger. I threw myself into everything I could: martial arts, soccer, basketball, volleyball, football — you name it, I probably did it. I needed the outlet and space. Competing gave me structure and a way to run from what I didn’t want to become.

But football did something different. It didn’t just let me escape; it gave me something to run toward.

The Chocolate Cake That Changed My Life:

Peyton Munch was a lineman on my high school team. He was caring, protective, and selfless — all the things that make a great teammate and an even better human. One day, he baked me a flourless chocolate cake so that I had something to snack on with the team. To be known is to be loved, and Peyton knew I had a gluten allergy. It was a small act of kindness, but it meant everything. It told me I was seen and cared about.

That simple gesture made me reflect on who I was — and who I wanted to be. I realized I didn’t just want to avoid becoming something; I wanted to become someone — someone who cared deeply, who made people feel included, who led with empathy. Just like Peyton did for me.

Peyton's dream was to be a nurse, unfortunately he passed away in 2022. His impact on my life still shapes the kind of coach and person I strive to be.

What Football Taught Me:

Football, to me, is more than a game. It brings together people from all backgrounds and pushes you to your limits — mentally, emotionally, and spiritually. It exposes who you really are, and it gives you the tools to grow into who you’re meant to be. It taught me about grit, hard work, and the beauty of a growth mindset. It gave me stability, belonging, and a sense of purpose. Most importantly, it brought me to God.

My Why:

I coach football to keep creating what the sport gave me — family, belonging, and purpose.

I coach to help others find themselves in the process, to develop not just toughness and skills, but empathy and loyalty. I coach to remind my athletes that no matter where they come from, they can still find their place — on a team, in a community. Most importantly, I do not want them to run away from what they do not want, I want them to chase their dreams and create purpose for themselves.

Your Turn:

So now, I’ll ask you the same question: Why do you do what you do in sports?

Knowing it, communicating it, and living it will ground you when the pressure hits, the losses stack up, or when the noise gets loud. Knowing your why will allow you to be the best leader you can be for your family, team, and community.

“Each of you should use whatever gift you have received to serve others, as faithful stewards of God’s grace in its various forms.” – 1 Peter 4:10